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Collette Bryson

Tired and Confused...


This is how I’ve been feeling this past little while. How about you?

Tired, even though I’m not working at the capacity (or the full pelt) that I once was.

Tired of being in the house all the time.

Tired of having everyone else around the house (sorry family, I love you dearly, but I did admit that I wish you’d clear off back to school and work so I could have the house to myself!)

Tired of the limitations of not being able to go anywhere much.

Tired of watching the news, listening to the numbers, tired of the bickering, tired of the lock-down.

But at the same time, since the lock-down has been eased a little here in the last week, I’m confused too.

I want to go out, yet I want to stay in.

I know I am safe at home, that we’ve been following the rules, so I’m scared to break that (even though we’d still be following the rules).

I’ve been dying for life to start back up, but now it’s here in a limited form, I want to stay in the old ways – in my safe home bubble, only venturing to the supermarket and chemist.

Are you feeling like this too?

I’d love to hear how you are feeling and what strategies you’ve put in place to help you.

Firstly, if you are feeling tired, tell yourself that it’s OK to rest. The dishes can wait. And dare I say it the DIY can wait.

I had been intending to paint my son’s bedroom before lock-down. My husband had prepared the wall, filled the holes and sanded down, and I’d tried some sample paints. It’s been like that for a couple of months now. Patchy with splodges of different colours. It looks pretty rough, but I tell myself that it doesn’t matter. It will get done. There’s no hurry.

Since the DIY shops opened again last Monday people have been queuing for them. I don’t have to join that queue. Its not essential. I can get what I need when the queues subside. It’s waited this long - it can wait a little longer. I have a choice whether to join that queue and I choose not to.

I hadn’t been on social media for over a week either and that’s OK too. Social media gurus will tell us we need to be positing daily etc, but you know what? It’s OK to have a break from that too. Social media will still be there. I just didn’t have the get up and go to do more online last week, I had enough other things going on with client’s, CV reviews and training, so I chose not to post.

Now I feel ready for action again. I’ve had a rest. I’ll get to the DIY shop this week. Here I am writing and I’ll be back posting on social media (well, maybe not daily).

Venturing outside into the world again in small steps will increase my confidence. I’m dying for a take-away coffee – I haven’t had one since the 11th March (coincidentally my birthday!), so I might venture out and grab one later in the week. My kids are dying for chipper chips, so maybe we’ll venture for that too.

And as for my confusion, I think this “small steps approach” will help too. I’ll hopefully come to realise that it is safe to step out in a responsible way and that I have control over my own actions to social distance, wear a mask if I want to and wash my hands regularly. I also have control over what I consume in terms of news and I generally only watch one news broadcast a day (and maybe not all of that either).

And it will be good to be back.

Now, where’s that paintbrush?

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